The opportunity cost of “woman-slaughter”

A mum said the other day that “motherhood albeit a tedious task is often referred to as rewarding”. It is evident that some women, married or not, desire to have children of their own but struggle to see a practical manifestation of this desire in their lives. Many in our society would certainly frown at any mother who portrays some signs of fatigue or dares complain with regards to their motherhood journey. Other strongly opinionated persons might even call such a mother ungrateful.

This mum proceeded to ask other mums in her community to describe ‘motherhood’ in one word. Vocabulary went flying off in all directions. There was an outpouring of several perspectives as expected. I gave it some thought and in the moment all that came to me was “WOMAN-SLAUGHTER”. How weird considering what the dictionary definition of manslaughter is.

Manslaughter /ˈmanslɔːtə/ the crime of killing a human being without malice aforethought, or in circumstances not amounting to murder.

Question is why woman slaughter though? Right from the moment conception takes place, a woman’s body begins to metamorphose in order to create, birth and nurture another human being. This takes a toll on her anatomy and impacts her life physically, emotionally, psychologically etc etc. The gamut of experiences that women go through is unique for each and can almost never be compared regardless of the sample size under consideration. There definitely are some similarities in what certain women deal with regarding their birth journeys.

Men on the flip side also deal with their own trolley of baggage however as a woman my perspective on their struggle will be very limited. I will therefore just focus on the feminine side of life. I neither intend to exaggerate nor undermine anyone’s pain or struggle with my perspective on this matter. Now to answer the question on my choice of words; ‘woman-slaughter’! It is incredible how much women deal with on a daily and especially when children come into play in their lives. From taking career breaks, to being undermined in the workplace, to juggling motherhood-school-career-religious and social commitments. Ha! The list can go on and on.

Many women maintain a high head and a gentle smile just to keep putting one foot before the other. It’s almost like living a facade to ensure that our families, jobs and society as a whole are well catered for. No woman wants to ever look and even deeper, feel like a failure. How often have women not shelved their visions for later or killed their dreams and passions altogether just to ensure that life is seemingly normal and comfortable for everyone else but themselves? The opportunity cost paid can be so expensive sometimes but we convince ourselves that it is worth it.

Have you ever thought about the following
 ( I am sure many have but dare not say it out loud). Why is it easier for you to sacrifice so much to portray a seemingly perfect life while hurting inside however it is so tough to embrace living in the perfect will of God and walking strictly by His ordinances? Do I still have your attention please?This question is not to just women, it is also to men. Is it not an even more rewarding price to pay to know that living right with Christ here on earth assures you of a better life in eternity?

The good book says “Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. – Matthew 16:25-25 (NLT)”

Submitting your will in its entirety seems like a very huge risk to take as far as common sense is debated based off of man’s wisdom. The best investment to make for eternity is to surrender your life, your will, completely to Jesus Christ. It is the most rewarding “WOMAN-SLAUGHTER” to engage in. Is it an easy path to take? Certainly not!, however Gods word promises that:

The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring. – Isaiah 58:11

I pray that you will not be led by life’s circumstances but by the Holy Spirit. I pray that your heart will be filled with contentment. I pray that you will see and hear the voice of the Most High God. I pray that you will manifest your dreams and visions according to God’s divine purpose for your life. And above all may you find fulfillment and satisfaction and may your joy be full all the days of your life. Stay topped up and prayed up in Jesus Name, Amen.

Love, Esinam.

Virtue left me


And Jesus said, Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me.

Luke 8:46 KJV

Virtue /ˈvəːtʃuː,ˈvəːtjuː/ the power or efficacy of a person or a thing.

It was a typical weekday and per habit I had posted a graphic of a scripture and prayer for the day. Two graphics were shared that day and I chose the verse that resonated with me in the moment and posted that on my status. A while later my phone beeped with a response to my status update which read:

Troll: “This is old… I guess. Lol. Please, update yourself.”

Initially I was confused but after a while it struck me. The graphic I chose to share was not the actual “word for the day” but an old one that bore the same date. I proceeded to share this response, a long one at that and it read:

Me: “I don’t know what your motive for sending this feedback is.

1. The word of God is ancient but never gets old. If today’s word is not for you it might minister to someone else. Plus today is *date of incident* so I wonder what your interpretation of OLD is.

2. I think it’s quite insecure of you that you always want to pass on negative criticism or water down someone’s post. YOU DO NOT ALWAYS HAVE TO COMMENT!!!

3. I don’t know what you’re communicating asking that I “update myself”. I find it rude and unnecessary.

PS: we are not in normal times and you’re better off lifting others up rather than trying to find flaws and loopholes in people posts and lives. Spread kindness and be nice. Life is not a competition 😊”

Clearly I was triggered because this individual was fond of dishing out such feedback without reservation. And then the person chose to elaborate their opinion.

Troll: (sharing what was supposed to have been the verse of the day) “This is what I mean… It is current one for today on their *social media* page. Smh đŸ€ŠđŸżâ€â™‚ïžâ€

And that’s where I lost my cool. My response:

Me: “Well done. There are no awards for who posts most current information, Mr Headmaster”

Troll: “Shame on you too. You should have listened to my perspective first before passing judgment. Well, I understand.”

Me: “It’s my status and I post as I’m led to. Period! Your do not have to agree or disagree if what I share doesn’t resonate your whims, beliefs or values. Thank you đŸ™đŸŒâ€

Troll: “Sure đŸ‘đŸŸâ€

*In my head, “Did I just see shame on me?”. Where is this from so early in the morning?* At this point I had stopped reading any responses and had proceeded on a venting spree


Me: “I never said shame on you. I reject your shame and negative energy. Why do you always feel the need to project SHAME on people. Please keep your shame to yourself. And you shouldn’t have been rush to judge my reason for not posting “a more current” version of *date of incident* scripture.”

Troll: “That makes two of us. Good night.”

(The Goodnight muddied the whole situation because this conversation ensued in the morning)

Me: “I saw both and I chose which one to post. I didn’t need you to come and “update me” just because you feel it’s not what was shared today. My platform, my post. I’m not obliged to do this. It’s my stage and I choose to use it to share scripture. I can also choose not to post altogether and no one can bug me about it.”

Troll: “You are right like a Pharisee. Enjoy the day!”

Me: “You’re just negative. Keep your thoughts and judgements to yourself”

It was at this point that it hit me: I was wasting virtue.

Next move: The said contact AKA Troll was blocked

I needed to save my energy for work, family and what really mattered in that moment and for the rest of the day. I had to let the feeling of being upset, triggered, patience being tested all rolled in one mood die immediately. Nothing was stealing my virtue and by extension my peace of mind.

Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving; Withal praying also for us, that God would open unto us a door of utterance, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am also in bonds: That I may make it manifest, as I ought to speak.

Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

Colossians 4:1-6 KJV

How often do we waste virtue on unnecessary banter, argument and worthless exchanges trying to prove a point? If only we would be able to filter even our minutest conversations to be more worthwhile, we may have a more impactful life. Endeavor to avoid toxic people, conversations and unhealthy competition.

Many a time the desire to prove oneself right is to fuel our egos and spike dopamine levels. Let us spread love and kindness and be more intentional about our conversations and transactions as far as expending virtue is concerned. Every word counts, utter wise ones, seasoned with salt
ALWAYS!

PS: Don’t be like “Troll”â˜ș

Love, Esinam.

LISTEN

As Christians, many a time we pray fervently for God to speak to us or show us a sign and we expect Him to speak in a specific manner (through dreams, visions, a Prophet, an unusual circumstance or disruption of the elements). Some of us have even flipped Bibles to miraculously open to a page where a verse will jump up to us for direction.

Prophet Elijah had a similar experience:

11 â€œGo out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.

And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

1 Kings 19:11-13 NLT

Don’t get me wrong, several people have had their breakthroughs or impact revealed in these forms. However we need to understand that God mostly speaks to us in the ‘language’ that we understand and this could be in the minute details of our everyday lives that we tend to conveniently ignore.

By all means, spend personal time digging into the word. Make time to meditate on God’s word and ruminate it as much as you can. It forms the foundation to hear from Him. Communication is 3D, speaking-listening-understanding. Each element is divinely critical.

Observe the journey of your life through the mirror of His word and you will notice that along the way He has been speaking all along. God speaks to each of us uniquely; just as purely as His love for each one is. Just as we pray and meditate, we need to be intentional about LISTENING.

After all Job endured to keep his faith, God still asked him to listen:

“Give ear, Job, listen to me;

Hold your peace, and I will speak.

If you have anything to say, answer me;

Speak, for I desire to justify you.

If not, listen to me;

Hold your peace, and I will teach you wisdom.”

Job 33:31-33 NKJV

Read good books, watch inspiring videos, listen to great sermons BUT after all these LISTEN TO HIM. He yearns to commune with us if only we will give Him our time.

Clarity usually occurs when we pause and listen


🎧 LISTEN !!! 🎧

Love, Esinam.

REVERENCE

The word REVERENCE stems from the English word Revere and in Latin Reverentia/ Revereri meaning “to stand in awe of”. To revere God means to illuminate His sovereignty in our lives. Let’s take a cue from the book of Job.

Satan believed that Job loved God because God had blessed him and shielded him. For him, if God took away His protection and stripped Job of the good gifts, he will turn his back to God. But God knows His own, he sees the heart and deepest desires. He could boast that Job would fear Him still (i.e. revere Him) even if He took away all that he had. “Have you considered my servant Job?”

Let’s see Job’s first test:

“One day the members of the heavenly court came to present themselves before the Lord, and the Accuser, Satan, came with them. “Where have you come from?” the Lord asked Satan. Satan answered the Lord, “I have been patrolling the earth, watching everything that’s going on.” Then the Lord asked Satan, “Have you noticed my servant Job? He is the finest man in all the earth. He is blameless—a man of complete integrity. He fears God and stays away from evil.” Satan replied to the Lord, “Yes, but Job has good reason to fear God. You have always put a wall of protection around him and his home and his property. You have made him prosper in everything he does. Look how rich he is! But reach out and take away everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face!” “All right, you may test him,” the Lord said to Satan. “Do whatever you want with everything he possesses, but don’t harm him physically.” So Satan left the Lord’s presence.”

Job 1:6-12 NLT

Even when God is testing us He stills looks out for our best interest. Consider that although he gave satan full access to Job and all he possessed, He entreated him not to harm him physically. Our God cares. As the story of Job’s first test unfolds, notice that the devil deploys three tools to inflict hurt on Job. He stole his cattle and oxen, he killed his shepherds and children and he destroyed his property.

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

John 10:10

The life that God has freely gifted us is one embellished with flourishing and abundance. The tests we endure are processes to weigh our motives and our hearts to ascertain if the outward characters we portray are a true reflection of our reverence for God.

Job’s trials came all at once and suddenly. Out of nowhere he began to experience pain and loss. The test you are facing now be it financial loss, marital challenges, emotional torture, social imbalances, psychological trauma, whatever it may be could be as a result of something you are actually doing right (provided you are obeying God’s ordinances and walking in His will). The word of God entreats us to be steadfast


So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.

1 Corinthians 15:58

God is on our side and His has our best interest at heart. The purification of our hearts is to make us vessels of honour; to reveal the Glory of God’s divine nature. In our moments of pain, of struggle, of failure, of weakness, we may grief or be angry but only for a period. We must never forget our fear of God. We must return to worship Him for we are because HE IS!!

“Job stood up and tore his robe in grief. Then he shaved his head and fell to the ground to worship. He said, “I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!” In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God.”

Job 1:20-22 NLT

đŸŽ¶ You are beautiful beyond description. Too marvelous for words. Too wonderful for comprehension. Like nothing ever seen or heard. Who can grasp Your infinite wisdom. Who can fathom the depths of Your love. You are beautiful beyond description. Majesty enthroned above đŸŽ¶

We can portray reverence through our attitude, our focus and our actions. I pray that you begin to manifest the best version of yourself as led by the Holy Spirit in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Love, Esinam.