The “Sponge” Dilemma

He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And He said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. – Matthew 18:2-4

Children soak up both verbal and nonverbal messages like sponges – indiscriminately. They listen to their parents, and they imitate their parents’ behavior. Because they have little frame of reference outside the family, the things they learn at home about themselves and others become universal truths engraved deeply in their minds.

Susan Forward.

It had been a couple of weeks since I had been moved to a new team within the department of the organization I worked for. Prior to that, I had always been very laid back, frolicking very little with my colleagues. I was ‘reserved’ many would say. Some even thought I was stuck up. Hmmmmm. Before this move, I had questioned severally if I belonged in my work environment because it had been a year and oh did I struggle to fit in. My previous job was great, had an enabling environment as far as personal growth was concerned but the “brass was bad”.

The move was mainly motivated by the hope of a steady income and career growth. Little did I know that God had other plans. On this day a colleague was sharing a funny incident and we were all laughing so hard. “You are like a sponge”, my boss said to me laughing as she walked off. I lifted my head, utterly confused. What does this woman mean?, I thought. I started wondering,a sponge! Why a sponge? Wait, what kind of sponge!? What does she mean? What could she be communicating? Did I do something wrong? No, no, she actually said it with a smile. I let it slide and went on with work.

It was hard to forget the statement she made however so I pondered over it much later and then it all came to me. I googled ‘sponge’ and I’m going to share my findings with you. I found three key definitions of a sponge:

1. a primitive sedentary aquatic invertebrate with a soft porous body that is typically supported by a framework of fibres or calcareous or glassy spicules. Sponges draw in a current of water to extract nutrients and oxygen.

2. a piece of a soft, light, porous absorbent substance originally consisting of the fibrous skeleton of an aquatic invertebrate but now usually made of synthetic material, used for washing and cleaning.

3. (slang) A person who takes advantage of the generosity of others (abstractly imagined to absorb or soak up the money or efforts of others like a sponge)

There are so many other perspectives and definitions out there but I will stick to these three to discuss the point I want to make. At a closer glance, we notice that all three definitions emphasize one main thing; the ability of the sponge to absorb. In my opinion the ability to absorb signifies tolerance, resilience and even resolve.

*Disclaimer: I do not endorse “sponging” per the third definition because it is a toxic trait.*

It takes tolerance to be able/willing to embrace the existence of opinions or behaviour that one dislikes or disagrees with. A sponge absorbs such fluids as it touched be they pleasant or not.

It takes resilience to cultivate the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness. No matter how filthy a liquid substance is, one washed appropriately, the sponge able to restore its previous state (debatable but almost always the case).

It takes resolve to express your firm determination to do something and actually execute it. A sponge does not possess the ability to be selective with what fluids/liquids it absorbs (unless the viscosity of the fluid doesn’t permit it to and most definitely in whose hands that sponge finds itself).

[Viscosity is a physical property of fluids. It shows resistance to flow. In a simple example, water has a low viscosity, as it is “thin”. … The word viscous comes from the Latin root viscum, meaning sticky.]

People notice it when you show respect and embrace new tasks, people and environments seamlessly. The only challenge is they often tend to misinterpret it and those who get it may have the tendency to exploit you. A person who has the fruits of the Spirit and who intentionally exhibits them possesses the ability to thrive regardless of where they find themselves. The word of God makes grace and direction available to live an exemplary life. Respect therefore is shown when you adapt yourself. Anyone who adapts to you is showing you respect.

Genesis 41:14 – Then Pharaoh sent and called Joseph, and they brought him hastily out of the dungeon: and he shaved himself, and changed his raiment, and came in unto Pharaoh.

Ruth 3:1-3 – Then Naomi her mother in law said unto her, My daughter, shall I not seek rest for thee, that it may be well with thee? And now is not Boaz of our kindred, with whose maidens thou wast? Behold, he winnoweth barley to night in the threshingfloor. Wash thyself therefore, and anoint thee, and put thy raiment upon thee, and get thee down to the floor: but make not thyself known unto the man, until he shall have done eating and drinking.

Esther 2:12; 15 – Now when every maid’s turn was come to go in to king Ahasuerus, after that she had been twelve months, according to the manner of the women, (for so were the days of their purifications accomplished, to wit, six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with sweet odours, and with other things for the purifying of the women;) ; Now when the turn of Esther, the daughter of Abihail the uncle of Mordecai, who had taken her for his daughter, was come to go in unto the king, she required nothing but what Hegai the king’s chamberlain, the keeper of the women, appointed. And Esther obtained favour in the sight of all them that looked upon her.

Joseph, Ruth and Esther all exhibited characteristics of absorption from the above texts. Joseph cleaned up himself and dressed appropriately before meeting Pharaoh. Ruth trusted Naomi’s direction, prepared herself and obeyed every instruction she was given to the letter. Esther heeded to Mordecai’s guidance as well as Haggai’s recommendation. Her willingness to embrace only what what required caused her to be preferred above her corrivals. Judging from the texts, they acted as such based off of the respect they had for Pharaoh, Naomi/Boaz and Ahesuerus/Haggai/Mordecai respectively. By inference according to these cases and my analysis Absorption implies Respect.

By all means have a filter to sift what you allow into your space (spirit, soul and body). Avoid toxic people and as much as you can do not compromise on your values. Know your limits/ boundaries however always show kindness and respect to others. Your reaction to any situation says more about you than it does others even if they were/are in the wrong. Be the salt and the light wherever you go. You don’t need to be an open book to show respect and spread kindness. Just be a sponge in the right hands; what better hands than those of The One who made you.

Looking back today I’m still uncertain what message she might have been conveying but I sure did couch my own perspective. I am to plant, water and nurture that lesson to spur growth for myself as well as make an impact. I pray the Holy Spirit leads you to do even better each day and no matter where you find yourself.

Love,

Esinam.