¡Be Vulnerable, Again!

“The events that make your blood boil reveals what matters most to you. Anger rises when your core values are in jeopardy. With reflection, it becomes a mirror for seeing your principles more clearly. With action, it becomes a map for making change to protect what you hold dear.” Adam Grant.

The world has many perspectives on how to deal with anger, how to manage your emotions, 3 steps to do this, four ways to make that and so forth. Many mask their decision not to forgive with tales of protecting their peace of mind or the most popular one lately, “Self-care”. Have you however taken the time to understand what the Bible says about anger and unforgiveness?

“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil… And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. – Ephesians 4:26-27;32

I had an incident with my 3 year old during our bedtime routine; she kept crossing my path while chattering and trying to get my full attention. I pushed her aside in order to grab a pair of socks she had dropped in the process and she suddenly exclaimed, “Mummy you pushed me! Why did you do that?” I responded saying that we had to hurry and get to bed so we can have enough rest for the next day and continued on to apologize. She came closer, patted me gently on my back and said: “that’s alright mummy”, and then instantly continued her conversation from where she stopped as though nothing had happened.

It might seem like a little incident that is almost meaningless but she made me understand why our Lord Jesus endears us to be like little children. Be like a child. They forget that they ever got hurt and go right back to playing, sometimes going right back to doing the same thing that caused them the hurt or pain.

For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” – Hebrews 8:12

Being backstabbed or disappointed by friends or even family can be a pain. And if they side with an external party against you that cuts even deeper. Abusive words and hurtful actions have the potential to scar us only as deeply as we allow them to . As the saying goes, “to err is human but to forgive is divine”. It is essential that we learn to let go as fast as we can before that state of being upset and hurt grows into bitterness and resentment.

Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. – Matthew 18:21-22

When you habour unforgiveness, it is nearly impossible to love again or show kindness again if you don’t intentionally become vulnerable again. Learn from the hurt and pain to be wiser but do not let the pain harden your heart and damage your ability and willingness to love as God has commanded us.

In the Old Testament of the Bible, the 10 Commandments given as instruction can be split into two parts. The first 3 commandments admonish us on things to do/not do towards God. The remaining 7 suggest things to do/not do against our Neighbour. Jesus makes it easier for us in the New Testament by firstly asking us to love the Lord our God with all our hearts, souls and minds. Love your neighbor as yourself is the second instruction that our Lord Jesus summed up the other half of the 10 Commandments into.

You will not abandon yourself just because you made one mistake. That will only mean letting yourself down while you forfeit achieving your God-given mandate and purpose. Be gracious to others because you are neither perfect. Let the Holy Spirit be your guide.

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins. – Proverbs 10:12

The message today is simple. Be like that little child. LET IT GO! Drop that weight of unforgiveness. Quit depriving yourself of love you could so readily give and also enjoy because you have built walls to shield yourself from reliving past pain. Remember seventy times seven. If you indeed aspire to be like Jesus, He gave a glaring example by washing away your sins into the sea of forgetfulness. As far as the east is from the west, He let it go never to be remembered again. He has given us the grace to do same; to love without restrain, to be vulnerable again!!!

Love, Esinam.