WHO SHOULD I MARRY? PART 1

Marriage is a union between a man and a woman that creates a family tie and carries legal, social and/ or religious rights and responsibilities. From a Christian standpoint, marriage doesn’t involve two men or two women. It’s between a man and a woman who are legally or traditionally married. God didn’t create Adam and Robert or Eve and Hannah. He intentionally and intelligently created Adam and Eve, a man and a woman and united them in holy matrimony. Any perversion of the ordinances of God as touching marriage like gayism, lesbianism, bestiality isn’t marriage for us believers. My target are believers, please. If you are not a believer, you may not appreciate this article.

Now, is marriage for everyone? The answer is no “ for there are some eunuchs which were born from their mothers’ womb and there are some which were made eunuchs of men and there be eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake” – Matthew 19:12. A eunuch is a castrated human male or a man who is not inclined to marry and procreate. These words came from the lips of the Master Himself. In other words, some may not marry because they were inclined not to marry like prophet Jeremiah in the Bible. Others may not marry because their inability to get married is a function of demons. This issue needs 🔥 and there are others who won’t get married because they themselves don’t want to for the purpose of the Kingdom like apostle Paul. You may quote several scriptures to prove that it’s a must but my dear friend it’s not and will never be. Is it good to get married? Absolutely for “he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from Lord” the Bible says.

On a flip side does it mean he or she who isn’t married has no favour like we say by explaining scriptures out of context? No! The major mentors of marriage like God, Jesus, and apostle Paul themselves were not married. Were they devoid of favor? Telling people they must marry to obtain favour or because they are of age or they are the only son of their parents is one of the reasons why people go into marriages and get divorced. Is that the main reason why believers are commanded to get married? Once again the answer is No! To marry and enjoy your union, you must fulfill some requirements as a believer. The fulfillment of the requirements below do not however guarantee that there wouldn’t be problems in your marriage. There would certainty be some problems because no marriage is perfect but the good news is that you will resolve that issue by His grace and it wouldn’t affect your marriage in a negative way.

In view of the aforementioned, one of the questions that young people like asking us preachers is what factors do we have to consider in choosing a life partner? This question may sound very bizarre to some of us who are already in a relationship or married because for us factors are not really the point. What matters to us is what we feel towards the other person and love. Are feelings and love important? Oh yes they are! But they shouldn’t be the main reason why you get married to the other party.

When you come to court, you will realize that day in day out, marriages are being dissolved based on reasons ranging from matters of sexuality, financial problems, barrenness among others but what we forget is these are not the real problems. In fact, these issues are only the products of the choices we made and which we must be responsible for.

Having laid my foundation, what must we consider as believers before getting married?

To begin with, we must be led by the Spirit in choosing a life partner. Please, you heard me right! This is superior to emotions or friendship. It’s important you marry someone you have feelings for or someone who is your friend but that should not be the main reason why you want to spend the rest of your life with him or her. This is because, you can have feelings for someone today and when problems come tomorrow, those same feelings will disappear into thin air. Someone too maybe your friend today but when you quarrel with them, that friendship can easily come to an abrupt end. If you are not yet sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit, I tell you you are not ready to get married. Don’t compare yourself to other people who were not led by the Spirit but seem to be doing well. Paul said if we compare ourselves to others we are not wise. Every human being is led by a spirit whether they are aware of it or not. Strive to hear the voice of Elohim and once you get to that level, who you marry becomes a simple thing to do because you will be led. I hear some people say these days God doesn’t lead people in choosing a life partner and that you yourself must go and choose . When I hear some comments , I don’t blame them because I know they are only communicating their level of ignorance.

People like Evangelist Benny Hinn, Apostles Johnson Suleman, Michael Orokpo, Arome Osayi among others were led by God in choosing their life partners because they paid the price of being led by the Spirit. Receive that grace NOW! I also receive that grace to marry a woman ordained for me by divinity. If you don’t believe in what I’m saying you can’t be led for “all things are possible to they that believe“. If you are not born again chances are high that you may not be led by the Spirit of God in your marital quest for the Bible declares “as many that are led by the Spirit of God ,they are sons of God” – Romans 8:14.

To be led by the Spirit of God, you must passionately ask God to lead and He will do that for “He who asks shall receive”. You will be surprised to hear that most people don’t ask God to lead them in choosing someone to marry. They firstly choose the person and later come and tell God to endorse their choice for them and that act is what guarantees a failed marriage in most cases. Once you take God out of the equation, another spirit takes over. To be led means God can speak to you through other means like visions, prophecies or dreams. But don’t forget that, all visions or dreams that are not in consonance with the Word of God have to be discarded immediately.

When God leads you, you will have the “ peace that surpasses all understanding “. For some of us when we were getting into that relationship, we felt or just knew it wouldn’t work but we still went ahead. Please, listen, almost every believer who is going through marital issues today saw the signs of problems before getting married and they still entered. Do you blame God? No! He has given you a will and expects you to exercise it for His glory. If you decide to do otherwise, that will be your own cup of tea. I’m not trying to be insensitive; that’s the truth. If you are in a bad marriage, I sympathize with you. Receive grace to work it out for nothing is impossible with God. You can also be led by God when you realize that you and your partner to be share a lot in common which brings about compatibility. The Bible says “ He who doesn’t have the Spirit of Christ isn’t His “( Jesus) – Romans 8:9. To be led, you have to be born again and once you are born again you will have the Spirit of God in you who will lead you if and only you allow Him to do so. Sometimes, the choice the Lord may make for you may have nothing to do with the specs you idolize in a woman or man but you will just have to trust and obey Jehovah who knows what is best for you and with time you will appreciate His choice for you.

If your marriage isn’t working however , go to God in prayer and ask Him to help you and He will tell you what to do. Learn from the mistakes you made and be a blessing unto others for Jesus still loves you dearly. Shalom!

Dr. David Tobi Ogoudou